Romance On the Internet: Tips for the Modern Internet Dating Scene

Romance On the Internet:
Tips for the Modern
Internet Dating Scene

With a collective pool of millions of active users, online dating sites have become the new wave of dating for the 21st century. Online dating sites are no longer secret meeting spots that evoke feelings of shame and embarrassment. Modern web surfers typically have no problem admitting that their Saturday night dinner and dancing companion was discovered on the Internet.

Online Dating Magazine reported in 2007 that at least 20 million people visit one or more online dating site per month. In fact, one third of Americans personally know someone who has used an Internet dating site.

Many online dating sites are 100% free, while others charge a regular monthly fee for access (and free doesn't necessarily mean low quality.) Choosing an online dating service is a personal decision dictated by how you will use the site, how much you are willing to pay, the type of person you're hoping to meet and how exclusive you want the site to be. New niche sites are popping up all the time. There are sites that match individuals based on income, IQ, ethnicity, geographical location, age, sexual orientation, hobbies, disabilities...and the list goes on.

Once you settle on a site, it is tempting to jump right in and meet as many eligible singles as you can, as fast as you can. It's much like heading out to the local dinner buffet and wanting to load your plate full on the first go around, in lieu of taking a small dish and making several trips. Not to worry: no matter how slowly you go, there will always be plenty of great dating sites to choose from, sites filled with intelligent, well adjusted people.

After you have taken your time and built a profile that sincerely reflects who you are, ask a close friend or family member for their honest feedback concerning what you've posted. While it may be tempting to fudge a bit on how you present yourself, don't do it!. Scientific American has reported that an astounding 90% of folks are dishonest in their online profile. This can mean something as minor as posting a photo you pass as current but is actually circa 1985, to outright lying about your marital status. Profile fibbing remains one of the most vexing problems with searching for love online, but it's not so serious that you, as an online dating newbie, should shun online dating altogether.

On the other hand, 100% full disclosure is not necessarily recommended either. Do you need to announce that you would like to have kids someday? Maybe. Do you need to declare that you would like to be married with a kid or two in the next three years? Probably not. This is not to say that you should withhold vital information, but you should certainly pace yourself with details about your life plan. While your thought process may be along the lines of wanting to “weed out the weak ones,” providing an abundance of details upfront may actually end up causing high quality, singles to shy away from you.

Eventually, there will come a time when you will have discovered someone that you feel is a good match for you and would like to move towards a dating relationship. The most salient best practice is to exercise caution. No matter how well you think you know someone via a series of emails, text and instant messages, and phone calls, the fact remains that you do not truly know someone until you really know someone. Never think in terms of weeks, always months. With the simplicity of the Internet often comes a false sense of connection which can prove to be dizzying. Actually knowing someone takes time. You should never kid yourself by thinking that someone is perfect for you after knowing them for three and a half weeks.

As of 2010 about seventeen percent of couples who marry met online, so there certainly is hope that you and you new online sweetheart may make it to the alter. Making that journey a marathon rather than a sprint is the wise way to go. Once you actually decide to meet in person, make it a brief encounter in a public location. Moreover, advise a friend, coworker or family member about your plans and have them check in with you with a quick call to your cell phone an hour or so after your arranged meeting time.

If you get any sort of strange “gut” reaction at the time of your initial meeting, really pay attention to those feelings. Oftentimes the body absorbs signals that the brain chooses to ignore. Forty percent of the adult single population are using online dating to meet someone special and if this is not the person for you, don't worry about it. There are literally millions more to choose from.

If your initial, visceral reaction is a positive one, keep in mind that people typically develop a long lasting impression of you within the first fifteen minutes of meeting you. In this short timeframe take the time to smile, make eye contact, be engaging, ask questions and do your best to keep the complaints at a bare minimum. In fact, you'd probably be much better off if you kept the entire conversation a positive one. Something as simple as “oh great, my coffee is cold” or “my boss is a real jerk” or “these shoes are really killing my feet” can really turn a potential mate off. It may be very tricky or impossible to regain a positive and attractive opinion of you.

The Internet can be a great place to meet someone with whom you would like to have a romantic relationship. If you move slowly, be honest, exercise caution and remain positive then finding your perfect mate can be as simple as point and click.

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Internet Dating and The Senior Citizen

Loneliness as you get older can be profound and, in the worst cases, crippling. Children move out and start their own families, often far from the family home. You begin reading the obituaries only to discover that older co-workers or neighbors have passed away. Perhaps your beloved life partner is no longer around. While it helps to alleviate this isolation by devoting yourself to church activities, volunteer work or maybe even taking on a part-time job, there remains no substitute for romance in your golden years. In fact, that tingle of infatuation can revitalize those with graying hair, the acute wisdom of age and wrinkles that speak to many decades of life.

With romance also comes the added benefit of an improvement in your overall health should you find yourself in love as a senior citizen. This can include lower blood pressure, reduced stress and an extended life expectancy. A study at the University of Pittsburgh even discovered that happily married folks are at a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease when compared to their single counterparts.

As modern medicine continues to evolve, the average life expectancy of an American is up from age sixty-eight in 1950 to age seventy-eight in 2010. Technology has also been catching on with the senior set as more and more mature individuals are now fully adept at using a home computer and the Internet. No longer strictly the domain of socially active 20-somethings or the career driven 40-something crowd, seniors are now in on the action when it comes to Internet dating.

In fact, seniors are now so quickly jumping on the online romance bandwagon that dating sites devoted specifically to this faction are starting to sprout up all over the Internet. Sites such as www.singlesover50.com, www.seniorfriendfinder.com and www.seniormatch.com are just a few of the many sites catering to those looking for love in the twilight of their lives. While a small grouping of these sites are free, many require some sort of payment for their services. Per Jupiter Research, those choosing a fee based Internet dating service will pay an average of $239 per year.

At first glimpse, the online dating process could not be easier for senior citizens - simply type in details about you, specifics about what you want in a partner and within moments matches galore pop up on your screen. This certainly is not dating circa 1955! With 120,000 marriages occurring each year as a result of having found love via the Internet, it is definitely a simple and effective way to find a mate. However, that ease should always be paired with responsibility, caution and best practices.

First, think long and hard about what you are looking for in a potential partner while being certain not to set the bar too high. Sure it would be great to find a person who is ten years younger than you, wrinkle free, loaded with cash and has a beach house in Hawaii. But putting such strict limits on your available romance pool is ill advised and could leave you in the company of your cat on a Saturday night in lieu of dinner and dancing at the local jazz club. Allow for a few extra pounds. Accept the guy with a Ford instead of a BMW. Maybe say yes to the gal who never quite found the time to finish her Bachelors degree.

Next, when it comes to giving out detailed information about yourself via the Internet caution is the name of the game. Never be too quick to announce that your spouse left you with a hefty life insurance pay out or that you live alone or that the home you paid off years ago was recently appraised for well over $500,000. Of course, you should never offer to help out a new “friend” financially and be wise to any attempts they may make to get at your bank account. According to the FBI, scams targeting senior citizens are on the rise and savvy con artists are now using the Internet to work their schemes. Should you discover that someone is trying to swindle you, don't hesitate to contact the dating site in question and let them know.

While the methodology of courting has certainly changed through the ages, some things have remained the same. The same policy against appearing too desperate rings just as true at age seventy as it did at age seventeen. Be smart about coming on too strong or aggressively, as this tends to make people very uncomfortable. More than 20 millions people in a average month visit one or more Internet dating sites. This means that there are plenty of men and women searching for romance online. Turn someone off with a distasteful or insistent attitude and, most likely, they'll quickly move on.

The wise senior will also involve others in their online dating mission. This includes not only letting others know who you're letting into your life, but also allowing a tech savvy granddaughter or trusted friend check out your newfound sweetie online and get their take on the situation. It always helps to have someone with fresh and unbiased eyes to help scope out the new kid on your relationship block. If they get a funny feeling or a bad vibe from what is happening, take heed to their intuition and think twice about the romance. After all, they know you well and likely have only your best interests in mind.

When it comes to meeting in person, be sure to take it slow and keep in public. Get as much information as you can prior to meeting up and when the time is right, plan to meet at the local diner or coffee house. Also, let someone know where you are going and when you will be returning home.

It's clear that love is good for both body and soul. Being smart, remaining cautious and taking it slow can be the path to a romance that could translate to your golden years being the best years of your life.

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