Romance On the Internet: Tips for the Modern Internet Dating Scene

Romance On the Internet:
Tips for the Modern
Internet Dating Scene

With a collective pool of millions of active users, online dating sites have become the new wave of dating for the 21st century. Online dating sites are no longer secret meeting spots that evoke feelings of shame and embarrassment. Modern web surfers typically have no problem admitting that their Saturday night dinner and dancing companion was discovered on the Internet.

Online Dating Magazine reported in 2007 that at least 20 million people visit one or more online dating site per month. In fact, one third of Americans personally know someone who has used an Internet dating site.

Many online dating sites are 100% free, while others charge a regular monthly fee for access (and free doesn't necessarily mean low quality.) Choosing an online dating service is a personal decision dictated by how you will use the site, how much you are willing to pay, the type of person you're hoping to meet and how exclusive you want the site to be. New niche sites are popping up all the time. There are sites that match individuals based on income, IQ, ethnicity, geographical location, age, sexual orientation, hobbies, disabilities...and the list goes on.

Once you settle on a site, it is tempting to jump right in and meet as many eligible singles as you can, as fast as you can. It's much like heading out to the local dinner buffet and wanting to load your plate full on the first go around, in lieu of taking a small dish and making several trips. Not to worry: no matter how slowly you go, there will always be plenty of great dating sites to choose from, sites filled with intelligent, well adjusted people.

After you have taken your time and built a profile that sincerely reflects who you are, ask a close friend or family member for their honest feedback concerning what you've posted. While it may be tempting to fudge a bit on how you present yourself, don't do it!. Scientific American has reported that an astounding 90% of folks are dishonest in their online profile. This can mean something as minor as posting a photo you pass as current but is actually circa 1985, to outright lying about your marital status. Profile fibbing remains one of the most vexing problems with searching for love online, but it's not so serious that you, as an online dating newbie, should shun online dating altogether.

On the other hand, 100% full disclosure is not necessarily recommended either. Do you need to announce that you would like to have kids someday? Maybe. Do you need to declare that you would like to be married with a kid or two in the next three years? Probably not. This is not to say that you should withhold vital information, but you should certainly pace yourself with details about your life plan. While your thought process may be along the lines of wanting to “weed out the weak ones,” providing an abundance of details upfront may actually end up causing high quality, singles to shy away from you.

Eventually, there will come a time when you will have discovered someone that you feel is a good match for you and would like to move towards a dating relationship. The most salient best practice is to exercise caution. No matter how well you think you know someone via a series of emails, text and instant messages, and phone calls, the fact remains that you do not truly know someone until you really know someone. Never think in terms of weeks, always months. With the simplicity of the Internet often comes a false sense of connection which can prove to be dizzying. Actually knowing someone takes time. You should never kid yourself by thinking that someone is perfect for you after knowing them for three and a half weeks.

As of 2010 about seventeen percent of couples who marry met online, so there certainly is hope that you and you new online sweetheart may make it to the alter. Making that journey a marathon rather than a sprint is the wise way to go. Once you actually decide to meet in person, make it a brief encounter in a public location. Moreover, advise a friend, coworker or family member about your plans and have them check in with you with a quick call to your cell phone an hour or so after your arranged meeting time.

If you get any sort of strange “gut” reaction at the time of your initial meeting, really pay attention to those feelings. Oftentimes the body absorbs signals that the brain chooses to ignore. Forty percent of the adult single population are using online dating to meet someone special and if this is not the person for you, don't worry about it. There are literally millions more to choose from.

If your initial, visceral reaction is a positive one, keep in mind that people typically develop a long lasting impression of you within the first fifteen minutes of meeting you. In this short timeframe take the time to smile, make eye contact, be engaging, ask questions and do your best to keep the complaints at a bare minimum. In fact, you'd probably be much better off if you kept the entire conversation a positive one. Something as simple as “oh great, my coffee is cold” or “my boss is a real jerk” or “these shoes are really killing my feet” can really turn a potential mate off. It may be very tricky or impossible to regain a positive and attractive opinion of you.

The Internet can be a great place to meet someone with whom you would like to have a romantic relationship. If you move slowly, be honest, exercise caution and remain positive then finding your perfect mate can be as simple as point and click.

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